Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

uzee

Offline (yesterday at 7:37am) | Search for a member

uzee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5526
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am<b>emily_dunbar15</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:15pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:15am<b>emmybabe987</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:01am

uzee's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29215) - you deserved it (5763)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

#15147046
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27025) - you deserved it (4598)

On 02/28/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML

#15131061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (6956)

On 02/26/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by sweet2u22 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

#15128708
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11986) - you deserved it (31128)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)

Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML

#15115506
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29622) - you deserved it (3928)

On 02/25/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by gumpy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

#15114722
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you deserved it (4098)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:44pm - kids - by Ldp56 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling on the couch watching TV when we started kissing. As I crawled onto his lap and started to unzip his pants, he said, "You're blocking the TV." FML

#15114672
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36040) - you deserved it (6300)

On 02/25/2011 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by unwantedlove (woman) - France

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

#15098216
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13208) - you deserved it (31279)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

#15091616
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (19765)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Elle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46894) - you deserved it (4285)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML

#15067918
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35033) - you deserved it (6947)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by Clare (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

#15067596
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35768) - you deserved it (2986)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by thissucks - United States (California)

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

#14964211
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (2935)

On 02/13/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by bride2be (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41834) - you deserved it (8707)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33381) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: