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uzee

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uzee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5517
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am<b>emily_dunbar15</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:15pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:15am<b>emmybabe987</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:01am

uzee's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, my violent housemate qualified for a gun license. She picks up her bolt-action rifle on Wednesday. FML

#17863556
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25895) - you deserved it (2678)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Help. (woman) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Hull)

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (3279)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (27417)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

#17804951
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27251) - you deserved it (4493)

On 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by failure (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

#17803016
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (4852)

On 09/22/2011 at 6:31am - love - by nicole - Reserved

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

#17801637
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11596) - you deserved it (39505)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized just how much my bad sex life has started affecting me, when after not being able to climax from masturbating, I instinctively faked an orgasm. FML

#17786592
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30766) - you deserved it (8177)

On 09/20/2011 at 6:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

#17786349
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31826) - you deserved it (8197)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:25am - intimacy - by Alexandra (woman) - Lebanon

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (2604)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

#17782998
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28873) - you deserved it (2754)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29520) - you deserved it (8248)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while teaching my high school class about astronomy, I showed them a picture of earth from space. One girl raised her hand, and asked me what the "white things" were. In other words, clouds. FML

#17757259
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24348) - you deserved it (2640)

On 09/16/2011 at 10:42am - kids - by Smart - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

#17753266
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (23302)

On 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28011) - you deserved it (11480)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were on a romantic dinner for two, I tried pulling out the chair for her. She fell. FML

#17737171
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (5551)

On 09/13/2011 at 4:13pm - misc - by jake (man) - United States



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