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Offline (the 07/29/2015 at 2:06am)

uuuuughhhh

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 14775
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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uuuuughhhh's page activity

Visits<b>ajh1551</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 1:04pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 10:05pm

uuuuughhhh's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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uuuuughhhh's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 8:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to put a lasagna in the oven for dinner. I was greeted by a revolting scent of a chicken-soup and biscuits boxed dinner. The fridge apparently was too full for my brother to put it away inside, so he covered it up and forgot about it in the oven. We made that dinner two weeks ago. FML.

by Anonymous / 07/26/2015 at 6:43pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML

by sarah4241 / 07/26/2015 at 5:04pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced." and took a rain check on me. FML

by arch maester shavayalsharashion / 07/26/2015 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called me and said she needs to take a break from our relationship. Why? Her really clingy ex is really depressed about her dating someone else and he isn't ready to accept it. So she wants to take a break "for his sake" until he's over her. FML

by Anonymous / 07/26/2015 at 12:36pm / Finland (Western Finland) / Love

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

by Sad Mom / 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

by strangely / 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

by skyllabeauty1234 / 07/22/2015 at 11:18pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2015 at 1:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

by River / 07/18/2015 at 12:08am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

by AK-47 / 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crazy drug-addict mother kicked me out of the house after siding with my crazy, drug-addict aunt, who'd just threatened to slit my throat. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2015 at 6:24pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous