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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 627
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About usor_name : Here is my secret: Put the lime in the coconut.

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usor_name's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75929) - you deserved it (6567)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

#2649932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11780) - you deserved it (49615)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51002) - you deserved it (8353)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15489) - you deserved it (51804)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
642 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27818) - you deserved it (276379)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66522) - you deserved it (11198)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

#726983
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96716) - you deserved it (9143)

On 03/31/2009 at 4:47pm - kids - by poo_shoe123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (284621) - you deserved it (52002)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)



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