About usor_name : Here is my secret: Put the lime in the coconut.
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usor_name's favorite FMLs
by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by nevasurprised / 01/10/2012 at 9:50am / Germany / Work
by Anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 10:53am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by badidea / 12/23/2011 at 1:42am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by stinkyhair / 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
by bigjohn106 / 07/17/2011 at 8:34am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML
by hickey / 02/05/2010 at 5:35am / United States (Florida) / Love
by Lance / 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
by Ben / 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…