Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1181
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About usor_name : Here is my secret: Put the lime in the coconut.

usor_name's page activity

Visits<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 12:22pm<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:01pm

usor_name's FML badges


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of usor_name's badges

usor_name's favorite FMLs

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

by BadGuyLuck / 02/25/2012 at 1:33am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Transportation

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

by A / 02/09/2012 at 1:37am / United States / Animals

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

by ABBenzin / 02/01/2012 at 11:11am / United States / Work

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

by brannie / 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

by / 01/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States / Health

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

by Crashburn / 01/16/2012 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love