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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 555
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About usor_name : Here is my secret: Put the lime in the coconut.

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usor_name's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brew master at a beer company. FML

#19226913
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (1882)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by sdk2010 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (7714)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29311) - you deserved it (3863)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got asked out for the second time in my life. Since my first date didn't go so well I thought I might have better luck with a different guy. I had to end the date when he confessed it was his destiny to kill his father. FML

#19158359
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (2381)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:33am - misc - by BadGuyLuck (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my car key clicker wouldn't let me in. After a few frustrating minutes, I realized that, besides electronic capabilities, it's also an actual key that fits in a hole to unlock my door. FML

#19119927
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5987) - you deserved it (35429)

On 02/20/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29237) - you deserved it (4627)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23504) - you deserved it (3539)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States

Today, I took off my sweatshirt in the middle of class. The tanktop I was wearing underneath went with it. FML

#18980998
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (7320)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

#18977119
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28922) - you deserved it (5758)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

#18968105
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (3229)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:11am - work - by ABBenzin (man) - United States

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14880) - you deserved it (41194)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

#18850090
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30593) - you deserved it (3393)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:14am - health - by hurts.to.pee - United States

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37839) - you deserved it (6079)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (4845)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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