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  • Number of visits : 60
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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usolive's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

by Faaccckkk / 03/25/2013 at 10:48am / United States / Love

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

by nraecher / 03/23/2013 at 12:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

by chattyloz / 02/07/2013 at 7:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML

by hamandegger / 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous