usernameunkn0wn

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Offline (the 01/05/2015 at 6:21pm)

usernameunkn0wn

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 May 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1332
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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usernameunkn0wn's page activity

Visits<b>Chibster</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 3:37pm<b>flyingflies</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 6:53am<b>LowLifeKid</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 5:44pm<b>S_Melh</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 6:45pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:42am<b>NostalgiaFreak9</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:29pm<b>BeastGiannasio</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 12:23am<b>Dmeijer87</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 8:02pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 10:34pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 7:40pm<b>file321</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:58am<b>Taycole93</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:43pm<b>Tthug</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 4:24pm<b>Matthew86</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 12:57pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 4:04pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 7:46am<b>ChewyGranola</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:26pm

Fucked!<b>Dmeijer87</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:02am

usernameunkn0wn's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of usernameunkn0wn's badges

usernameunkn0wn's favorite FMLs

Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

by Auroraen / 06/27/2013 at 9:23pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm / Finland (Western Finland) / Health

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

by mymomplucksbutthair / 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 12:56am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 6:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

by kittykittyrun / 06/18/2013 at 12:28pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

by bloody / 06/15/2013 at 4:57am / United States / Love

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

by bestiality, not even once / 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

by I fathered a pussy. / 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

by Are you f*cking kidding me / 06/12/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

by instinct / 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy