usarmywife

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usarmywife

10Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3192
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About usarmywife : I like to get on FML when I'm having a bad day. Sometimes, it makes me feel better to know that some other unfortunate soul is having a worse day. Feel free to message, I don't mind conversation

usarmywife's page activity

Visits<b>dantee2005</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:37am<b>Chinhull</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:15pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 8:12pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:16pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:57pm<b>bigbluetardis</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:23am<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:53pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:16pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:41pm<b>djurmel89</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:51am<b>aelabed</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:37pm<b>leahbobbea</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:45pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:48pm<b>awb1123</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 1:00pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:03am<b>Lockerch</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 9:04pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 7:44pm

Fucked!<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:56pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 3:19am<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 3:39am<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:16am<b>awb1123</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:21am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:21am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:29pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:49pm

usarmywife's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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usarmywife's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, some random guy decided to wake me up at 5.30am by yelling outside my window. I opened the window and told him to knock it off before going back to bed. It took a good 3 minutes of his laughter before I realised I was naked and he got a close up view of my breasts. FML

Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML

by Whyme? / 04/27/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my blind date started with, "I am required by law to tell you this: I am a registered sex offender." FML

by w0w / 04/22/2016 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2016 at 4:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML

by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, after 4 years of staring each other down at the bar, we both finally made a move and ended up at his apartment. After 45 mins of unsuccessfully getting anywhere, I left, to walk home in a hail storm. FML

by disappointmentafter4years / 04/12/2016 at 3:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

by bruised / 04/11/2016 at 3:26am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2016 at 12:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, it's day 9 of my honeymoon. It's also day 8 of my period and day 7 of food poisoning. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 3:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

by Anon / 03/15/2016 at 2:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2016 at 5:09pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, and recently, many of my friends have been acting strangely. My birthday is coming up soon, so I thought maybe they were planning a surprise party. Nope. Turns out they've just been secretly hanging out without me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2016 at 11:41am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I think my unborn child has developed a sense of humour. The little cherub is usually very calm, but must have realised that if he/she kicks me hard enough in this particular place near my bladder, I'll piss myself on the spot like a race horse. It's happened twice now. FML

by Spraylady / 02/29/2016 at 4:45pm / United Kingdom / Kids