usarmywife

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usarmywife

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4285
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About usarmywife : I like to get on FML when I'm having a bad day. Sometimes, it makes me feel better to know that some other unfortunate soul is having a worse day. Feel free to message, I don't mind conversation

usarmywife's page activity

Visits<b>Section8</b> - the 08/31/2016 at 8:32pm<b>Jpav1</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 2:21am<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 6:16am<b>xoxoblondee</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:25am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 9:47am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:37am<b>Chinhull</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:15pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 8:12pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:16pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:57pm<b>bigbluetardis</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:23am<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:53pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:41pm<b>djurmel89</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:51am<b>aelabed</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:37pm<b>leahbobbea</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:45pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:48pm

Fucked!<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 6:34pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 2:54pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:56pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 3:19am<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 3:39am<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:16am<b>awb1123</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:21am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:21am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:29pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:49pm

usarmywife's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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usarmywife's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

by Loud / 09/08/2016 at 2:07am / Australia / Work

Today, my boyfriend showed me his need for speed. It was amazing, except he showed it to me with my new car while running away from the cops. FML

Today, I received a friend request from a boyfriend I hadn't talked to in 20+ years. A few minutes later he messaged me a picture of himself with a young woman at a strip club. My daughter. FML

by Redhottt6 / 08/04/2016 at 9:24pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of three years asked me if I ever wanted to get married. I said yes. He said, 'But what happens if you never find a guy who likes you that much?' FML

by I guess not / 08/02/2016 at 9:24am / Love

Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left, I was carrying her downstairs and tripped. Try calling your parents from the hospital and explaining that their daughter, who can't even crawl yet, has a broken leg. FML

by ulrika / 07/23/2016 at 9:09pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML

by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, my six-year-old daughter organized a treasure hunt… for our cat. She hid the contents of an entire bag of cat food all around the house. FML

by seatle girl / 06/27/2016 at 8:43pm / France (Picardie) / Kids

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 8:22am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I lost my virginity. It was painful, but not as painful as my boyfriend asking afterwards: "Um... did you use to be a guy?" FML

Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps I set for our current mouse problem onto my desk chair. Apparently when a mouse is caught in a mousetrap it's cruel, but when it snaps on my balls, that's hilarious. FML

by Ow / 06/18/2016 at 8:51pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2016 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I'm still awake from not sleeping last night. The reason? At 2am I was in my garage when all of a sudden someone's phone went off outside. I live in the country and no one should be out there. Looks like I'm not sleeping for the next few weeks. FML.