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usarmywife

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usarmywife

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2070
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About usarmywife : I like to get on FML when I'm having a bad day. Sometimes, it makes me feel better to know that some other unfortunate soul is having a worse day.

usarmywife's page activity

Visits<b>dantee2005</b> - 29 minutes ago<b>DropDeadKrislyn</b> - yesterday at 5:16am<b>purplehair</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:42pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:20pm<b>jjjbrew</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:33pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:01am<b>Zyssii</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 5:38am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:53pm<b>bnbhimp</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:14am<b>Dr0n3</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:36am<b>steeler088</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:28am<b>briang959</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:46am<b>gary8082</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:19am<b>hillaryhope</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:56am<b>jennlody</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:00pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 11:22pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 8:01am<b>Mukuro</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 6:00pm

Fucked!<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:29pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:49pm

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usarmywife's favorite FMLs

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

#21433135
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19031) - you deserved it (3196)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22218) - you deserved it (2920)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (1985)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my family and I were driving and we passed a strip club called DB's Golden Banana. My 5-year-old sister asked what it was, so my dad said it was a place where people dance. Now my sister keeps telling people she wants to be a dancer at DB's Golden Banana. FML

#21432491
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23033) - you deserved it (2393)

On 06/26/2015 at 7:32pm - kids - by tycrist8 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I just woke up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML

#21432043
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (1674)

On 06/25/2015 at 11:06pm - health - by postop (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad got so drunk that I had to drive him home. He kept yelling at me to not speed, saying I was going too fast and that there were too many bumps on the road. I hadn't even started the car yet. FML

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26866) - you deserved it (3149)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (11305)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I'm five and a half weeks pregnant. One of my coworkers told me that it sucks that I'll have to wait so long to show. I asked her what she meant; she replied, "It's always harder to tell when big girls are pregnant. Can't tell what's fat and what's baby." FML

#21428256
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27939) - you deserved it (4291)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by pregnantfatty - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

#21427606
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29690) - you deserved it (8532)

On 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm - kids - by RecentCollegeGrad (woman) -

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23478) - you deserved it (11468)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35516) - you deserved it (2576)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25722) - you deserved it (5937)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30987) - you deserved it (4733)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)



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