usarmywife

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usarmywife

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3628
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About usarmywife : I like to get on FML when I'm having a bad day. Sometimes, it makes me feel better to know that some other unfortunate soul is having a worse day. Feel free to message, I don't mind conversation

usarmywife's page activity

Visits<b>xoxoblondee</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:25am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 9:47am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:37am<b>Chinhull</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:15pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 8:12pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:16pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:57pm<b>bigbluetardis</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:23am<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:53pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 12:16pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:41pm<b>djurmel89</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:51am<b>aelabed</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:37pm<b>leahbobbea</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:45pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:48pm<b>awb1123</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 1:00pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:03am

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 2:54pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:56pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 3:19am<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 3:39am<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:16am<b>awb1123</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:21am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:21am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:29pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:49pm

usarmywife's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

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usarmywife's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 8:22am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I lost my virginity. It was painful, but not as painful as my boyfriend asking afterwards: "Um... did you use to be a guy?" FML

Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps I set for our current mouse problem onto my desk chair. Apparently when a mouse is caught in a mousetrap it's cruel, but when it snaps on my balls, that's hilarious. FML

by Ow / 06/18/2016 at 8:51pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2016 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I'm still awake from not sleeping last night. The reason? At 2am I was in my garage when all of a sudden someone's phone went off outside. I live in the country and no one should be out there. Looks like I'm not sleeping for the next few weeks. FML.

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

by unboned / 05/11/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

by queen_lol / 05/10/2016 at 1:14pm / United States / Love

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, some random guy decided to wake me up at 5.30am by yelling outside my window. I opened the window and told him to knock it off before going back to bed. It took a good 3 minutes of his laughter before I realised I was naked and he got a close up view of my breasts. FML

Today, as I was cleaning up after my two year-old, I found a pair of lacy underwear in his toy box. Not only are they not mine, but now I have to ask my husband if he's cheating on me. Or ask my babysitter if she's being having fun, instead of actually babysitting. FML

by Whyme? / 04/27/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my blind date started with, "I am required by law to tell you this: I am a registered sex offender." FML

by w0w / 04/22/2016 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2016 at 4:28pm / United States (California) / Love