usarmywife

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usarmywife

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3878
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About usarmywife : I like to get on FML when I'm having a bad day. Sometimes, it makes me feel better to know that some other unfortunate soul is having a worse day. Feel free to message, I don't mind conversation

usarmywife's page activity

Visits<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 6:16am<b>xoxoblondee</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 8:25am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 9:47am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 10:37am<b>Chinhull</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 10:15pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 8:12pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 10:16pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 9:57pm<b>bigbluetardis</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:23am<b>neneluvsyooh</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:53pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 2:41pm<b>djurmel89</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 7:51am<b>aelabed</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 8:37pm<b>leahbobbea</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 5:45pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 12:48pm<b>awb1123</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 1:00pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:03am

Fucked!<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 6:34pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 2:54pm<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 9:56pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 3:19am<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 3:39am<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 5:16am<b>awb1123</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 5:21am<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:21am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:29pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:49pm

usarmywife's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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You've liked someone. How cute!

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usarmywife's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left, I was carrying her downstairs and tripped. Try calling your parents from the hospital and explaining that their daughter, who can't even crawl yet, has a broken leg. FML

by ulrika / 07/23/2016 at 9:09pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML

by Foot In Mouth / 07/12/2016 at 10:46pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, my six-year-old daughter organized a treasure hunt… for our cat. She hid the contents of an entire bag of cat food all around the house. FML

by seatle girl / 06/27/2016 at 8:43pm / France (Picardie) / Kids

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 8:22am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I lost my virginity. It was painful, but not as painful as my boyfriend asking afterwards: "Um... did you use to be a guy?" FML

Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps I set for our current mouse problem onto my desk chair. Apparently when a mouse is caught in a mousetrap it's cruel, but when it snaps on my balls, that's hilarious. FML

by Ow / 06/18/2016 at 8:51pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2016 at 1:15am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was eating breakfast when my little brother goes, "Mommy, what do you do for a living?" and my mom says "I'm a headmaster", and my dad goes, "Oh yeah she is." FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 10:09pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2016 at 12:35pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I'm still awake from not sleeping last night. The reason? At 2am I was in my garage when all of a sudden someone's phone went off outside. I live in the country and no one should be out there. Looks like I'm not sleeping for the next few weeks. FML.

Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML

by unboned / 05/11/2016 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

by queen_lol / 05/10/2016 at 1:14pm / United States / Love

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, some random guy decided to wake me up at 5.30am by yelling outside my window. I opened the window and told him to knock it off before going back to bed. It took a good 3 minutes of his laughter before I realised I was naked and he got a close up view of my breasts. FML