Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

usarmywife

Search for a member

usarmywife

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2237
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About usarmywife : I like to get on FML when I'm having a bad day. Sometimes, it makes me feel better to know that some other unfortunate soul is having a worse day.

usarmywife's page activity

Visits<b>dantee2005</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:00am<b>crystalbeau98</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 1:03am<b>jjjbrew</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 11:32pm<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 1:21am<b>purplehair</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:42pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:20pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:01am<b>Zyssii</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 5:38am<b>ultimate41</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:53pm<b>bnbhimp</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 10:14am<b>Dr0n3</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:36am<b>steeler088</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:28am<b>briang959</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:46am<b>gary8082</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:19am<b>hillaryhope</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:56am<b>jennlody</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:00pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 11:22pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 8:01am

Fucked!<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 7:21am<b>dantee2005</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 8:29pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 6:49pm

usarmywife's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of usarmywife's badges

usarmywife's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

#21462923
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (1798)

On 08/31/2015 at 9:16am - intimacy - by FuckThis (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML

#21462016
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (1673)

On 08/29/2015 at 4:50am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to call the doctor regarding my penis. Not because of erectile dysfunction or an erection lasting more than four hours, but because of the multiple fire ant bites I woke up to after falling asleep in my backyard. FML

#21461585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (3556)

On 08/28/2015 at 2:13am - health - by unsuckable (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

#21460430
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19172) - you deserved it (7838)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

#21459919
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15826) - you deserved it (21510)

On 08/24/2015 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a dream in which my girlfriend gave birth to a litter of puppies. I can't even look at her now without getting nauseous. FML

#21459180
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22345) - you deserved it (2720)

On 08/22/2015 at 3:30am - animals - by yooitscallo (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (6118)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML

#21457721
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24077) - you deserved it (2692)

On 08/18/2015 at 6:55pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad remarried, but he didn't want me to come. I'm told he didn't want me to ruin his pictures or make his guests feel uncomfortable, all because I had my leg amputated in April. FML

#21457412
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30372) - you deserved it (1408)

On 08/18/2015 at 12:39am - health - by LoveIsOneSided (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML

#21457342
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24587) - you deserved it (8957)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

#21457219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21337) - you deserved it (1656)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

#21456687
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (2834)

On 08/16/2015 at 11:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29488) - you deserved it (3564)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband decided he would rather be with his mistress than with me while I gave birth to our first child. FML

#21456262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (2031)

On 08/15/2015 at 4:22am - love - by MissyPants - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: