Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

usaidwhat82

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

usaidwhat82

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 369
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About usaidwhat82 : Hi! I enjoy playing soccer and drawing.

usaidwhat82's page activity

Visits<b>hellalegit</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:25pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 11:57am<b>Ricardo_Thug</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:09pm<b>cinskeep43</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 8:56am<b>Welshite</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 7:36am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 4:41pm<b>James_is_Mexican</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 10:31pm<b>A07</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 6:27am<b>thatoneninjadude</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 12:41pm<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 5:45pm<b>omgimdying</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:10pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 6:29pm<b>NazT123</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:43am<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Doritozilla</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 2:03pm<b>pataplop</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 5:56am<b>zandalee</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 4:00am

usaidwhat82's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of usaidwhat82's badges

usaidwhat82's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML

#21293843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32491) - you deserved it (2854)

On 11/07/2014 at 12:47am - health - by jj - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML

#21293257
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30869) - you deserved it (3548)

On 11/06/2014 at 7:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML

#21289623
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30441) - you deserved it (3729)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:26am - misc - by helosthisshit (man) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, it's my 20th birthday. I recently came home from college to visit my family, after my mother had a stroke a few weeks back. She ended up being the only person who remembered to get me anything. She also thinks it's still 2009. FML

#21286282
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34894) - you deserved it (2853)

On 10/27/2014 at 12:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

#21285397
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30809) - you deserved it (2034)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my first day at work at a local daycare, I found out that I'm not entitled to breaks because I'm the only worker there who doesn't smoke. My boss asked me, ''What do you need a break for?'' FML

#21284495
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (2554)

On 10/24/2014 at 4:52pm - work - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (2702)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31932) - you deserved it (3781)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33649) - you deserved it (6805)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35640) - you deserved it (3132)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31032) - you deserved it (3361)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35973) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36718) - you deserved it (2929)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: