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urface1

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urface1

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urface1's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, and dropped a condom in the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!". FML

#3932433
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55288) - you deserved it (28170)

On 07/21/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by uh-oh (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I pulled up next to my boyfriend at a stoplight. He was in the back of a police car. FML

#3929849
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51916) - you deserved it (5789)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:45pm - love - by sexychica (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83015) - you deserved it (5676)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

#3897377
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46131) - you deserved it (2807)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by pyrosythan (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML

#3867495
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45243) - you deserved it (15594)

On 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by preggersss (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

#3811279
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49352) - you deserved it (2885)

On 07/16/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by search_me (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was walking to my mailbox and I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9am" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I am still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML

#3715580
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48783) - you deserved it (2595)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:21pm - animals - by notwasted39 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my daughter's handsome new boyfriend came to visit our house. When I opened the door, he asked me where Diana's mother was. I assumed he was about to be charming and say that he thought I was her sister. He didn't. He assumed that I was Diana's grandmother. FML

#3681889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50814) - you deserved it (4974)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by yesnomaybeso7 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124965) - you deserved it (4596)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a really bad day at work and the only thing that was getting me through the day was the idea of taking a nice, hot, relaxing bath. When I got to my front door there was a shut off notice from the gas company. I won't be taking any hot baths until I come up with the $500 bill. FML

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
930 comments

I agree, your life sucks (355197) - you deserved it (38854)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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