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uns3r

Offline (the 08/23/2014 at 6:10am) | Search for a member

uns3r

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 21 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 552
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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uns3r's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43518) - you deserved it (5358)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29667) - you deserved it (4515)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25235) - you deserved it (5695)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was pooping at a local Target when I heard someone say "You need to eat more solids, you're pooping like a rabbit." FML

#20001897
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21212) - you deserved it (3665)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:35am - misc - by llaurenmariee - United States

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32611) - you deserved it (4117)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

#19743887
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13832) - you deserved it (37090)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

#19633207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8320) - you deserved it (34255)

On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47163) - you deserved it (4370)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47163) - you deserved it (4370)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML

#19631611
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22152) - you deserved it (9103)

On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30368) - you deserved it (3542)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36114) - you deserved it (2333) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31437) - you deserved it (6138)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21074) - you deserved it (4437)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML

#19555079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18827) - you deserved it (3710)

On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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