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unlucky_jazmyn's favorite FMLs
Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML
by LadyLola / 11/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Catcrap! / 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Animals
by gonnafail / 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML
by footstuck / 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by probablydodgedabullet / 11/08/2013 at 6:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by sirradel / 08/19/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Love
Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML
by deadman / 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
by ass slap / 08/11/2013 at 11:35am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML
by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…