unknownfork

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unknownfork

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1762
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About unknownfork : I am smart.

unknownfork's page activity

Visits<b>puppie406</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:47am<b>Bewix</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:44am<b>happysmile987</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:15pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:25am<b>anonymous248</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:13am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:20am<b>cinamonkoko</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 9:48pm<b>ubertuber</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 11:31am<b>NickL56</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 11:28am<b>Rougeee</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 10:33am<b>posko</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 9:39am<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 4:32am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 3:12am<b>KaiserCreame</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:16am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:04am<b>awkwardlysmiles</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:46am<b>jasonmar</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:46am<b>PuggieKid</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:31am

unknownfork's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of unknownfork's badges

unknownfork's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out my cousin - who suffers from bipolar disorder - shot herself in the chest and has only a 20 percent chance of living. I told my boyfriend, while crying, and he held me for a few minutes. As soon as I got quiet, he pulled out his iPhone and started playing a shooter game. FML

by lynn / 02/17/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

by RaceCar / 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML

by pervert / 01/09/2010 at 1:38am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was forced to spend New Years Eve with my strict/conservative parents in the middle of nowhere in Illinois. If I had nothing else, I looked forward to watching the ball drop in NYC. As the seconds counted down the T.V. shut off. Parental controls shut down cable at midnight. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2010 at 2:11am / United States / Holidays

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays

Today, my 15 year old son told me he had his first kiss. I told him how I was the same age when I had mine, and then I told him all kinds of wild stories about things I did in my childhood and college life. Truth is, I made them all up. I didn't get kissed till I was 24, and laid till I was 28. FML

by Sadface / 12/06/2009 at 12:34pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister asked what masturbation was. We were having a family dinner with my grandparents. My mother then said, "Why don't you ask your brother? He is a pro." FML

by namhtor / 09/28/2009 at 3:20pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML

by NiHao / 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

by DrunkenValor / 09/06/2009 at 12:03am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Health

Today, I was at the park with my autistic son when I noticed a teenage girl imitating him by flapping her hands and walking on her toes. Fed up with children mocking my son, I went over and sternly lectured the girl's mother. Turns out, her daughter is autistic too and will be in my son's class. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

by SimpleSimon / 06/30/2009 at 8:14pm / United Kingdom (Herefordshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML

by NoComparison / 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar. After joking around for a few minutes she said "hey I love your jacket, where'd you get that?". I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket. This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere". FML

by cole / 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love