About unknownfork : I am smart.
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I agree, their lives suck
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
unknownfork's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML
by Ilostsomuch / 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML
by hitchhiked / 01/04/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Transportation
by emsbuffalo / 01/04/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health
Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML
by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 11:53am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Holidays
by Surprisebuttsecks? / 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML
by djkimmaz / 12/03/2011 at 6:23am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by Person15 / 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by 14YearOld / 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML
by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work
- Today, I had a date through a mutual friend. I waited for three hours and she didn't show. Why? Me… Today, not only did I have to ask my dad for advice on how to take care of hemorrhoids, but when I… Today, I was marked down on my final class presentation for going over the time limit. Why did I go…