unknownfork

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unknownfork

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1755
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About unknownfork : I am smart.

unknownfork's page activity

Visits<b>puppie406</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:47am<b>Bewix</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:44am<b>happysmile987</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:15pm<b>Sexomancer</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:25am<b>anonymous248</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:13am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:20am<b>cinamonkoko</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 9:48pm<b>ubertuber</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 11:31am<b>NickL56</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 11:28am<b>Rougeee</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 10:33am<b>posko</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 9:39am<b>Alicestraza</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 4:32am<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 3:12am<b>KaiserCreame</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:16am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:04am<b>awkwardlysmiles</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:46am<b>jasonmar</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:46am<b>PuggieKid</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 12:31am

unknownfork's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of unknownfork's badges

unknownfork's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find that my mother had sold all my valuable collector coins for cheap at a local shady pawn shop to buy herself a TV. The coins in question were worth enough to start a business. FML

by Ilostsomuch / 01/04/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML

by hitchhiked / 01/04/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

by emsbuffalo / 01/04/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2011 at 11:53am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Holidays

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

by Surprisebuttsecks? / 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

by djkimmaz / 12/03/2011 at 6:23am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

by Person15 / 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

by 14YearOld / 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

by hannahk267 / 11/18/2011 at 8:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work