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unicorn_girl79

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unicorn_girl79

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  • Number of visits : 52
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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unicorn_girl79's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 4:03pm

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unicorn_girl79's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41396) - you deserved it (4228)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43802) - you deserved it (9140)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML

#20419819
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80019) - you deserved it (24561)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55412) - you deserved it (9855)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent nearly half an hour trying to dispel my sister's belief that men have to strap down their penises before going jogging. FML

#20402473
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28067) - you deserved it (3490)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41922) - you deserved it (6606)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

#20149912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30558) - you deserved it (4285)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Ugggggggggg (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26533) - you deserved it (4197)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

#20048187
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28195) - you deserved it (6777)

On 08/29/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33013) - you deserved it (4781)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27791) - you deserved it (4247)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML

#19739017
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22948) - you deserved it (7054)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28683) - you deserved it (6023)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86128) - you deserved it (4247)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

#18813229
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29082) - you deserved it (23176)

On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)



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