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unicorn_girl79

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unicorn_girl79

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  • Number of visits : 102
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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unicorn_girl79's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 4:03pm

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unicorn_girl79's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58385) - you deserved it (9170)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58091) - you deserved it (3970)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58171) - you deserved it (5692)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66881) - you deserved it (9234)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML

#20702606
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58645) - you deserved it (6815)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:31am - love - by BadBoyfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63163) - you deserved it (5071)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

#20688020
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60206) - you deserved it (4082)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my stalker ex girlfriend turned up at my wedding, uninvited, wearing a wedding dress. FML

#20655660
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88790) - you deserved it (5628)

On 05/11/2013 at 2:25am - love - by tdrtnlz - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

#20649796
117 comments

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63387) - you deserved it (14249)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46816) - you deserved it (9318)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

#20613403
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58914) - you deserved it (7881)

On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48362) - you deserved it (14420)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML

#20530380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46142) - you deserved it (5903)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML



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