unhipcircle494

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Offline (the 03/11/2016 at 12:48am)

unhipcircle494

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 December 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3752
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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unhipcircle494's page activity

Visits<b>Psychotique</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:21pm<b>skye147</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:04pm<b>harmonyluver</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:45pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:39am<b>besosforme</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:49pm<b>AliGInTheHouse</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:46pm<b>BrianneL2312</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:07pm

unhipcircle494's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of unhipcircle494's badges

unhipcircle494's favorite FMLs

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Animals

Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed, the horn has decided to spontaneously beep. To stop the beeping I have to press the horn hard, making it look like I'm purposely doing it to piss people off. FML

Today, I found out my anti-depressants are super-effective. So effective, they affect things they aren't even supposed to. Like my ability to pee. FML

by full bladder / 04/28/2015 at 6:39pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2015 at 12:58pm / United Kingdom (Devon) / Intimacy

Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, I was bitten by a therapy dog. FML

by queengarmin / 04/25/2015 at 4:42pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2015 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (Dundee City) / Work

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

by biomajor99 / 04/22/2015 at 5:46pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

by cock blocked / 04/22/2015 at 11:44am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML

by Phabia / 04/20/2015 at 8:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Health