unhipcircle494

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Offline (the 03/11/2016 at 12:48am)

unhipcircle494

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 December 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4084
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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unhipcircle494's page activity

Visits<b>Psychotique</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:21pm<b>skye147</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:04pm<b>harmonyluver</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:45pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:39am<b>besosforme</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:49pm<b>AliGInTheHouse</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:46pm<b>BrianneL2312</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:07pm

unhipcircle494's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of unhipcircle494's badges

unhipcircle494's favorite FMLs

Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated 2 years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 11:31pm / United States / Work

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

by MyNameIsNotJeff / 05/07/2015 at 11:23pm / United States / Animals

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

by pleasedie / 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

by dadoftheyear / 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML

by StargazeKitsune / 05/06/2015 at 8:48pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2015 at 7:08pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

by to_complicated_4_u / 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 3:42am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

by why? / 05/01/2015 at 9:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, someone at work took my delicate medication out of the fridge to make room for their lunch. Now my medication has expired. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2015 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Limavady) / Work

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

by MiniJeans / 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my three-year-old nephew chose to jump out of a window and break his arm rather than be babysat by me. FML

by Winxy / 04/29/2015 at 6:44pm / United States (California) / Kids