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unhipcircle494's favorite FMLs
by smartass / 05/29/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to explain to my little sister that not all guitars are supposed to have a hole in them, that when I was talking about "breaking it in" I didn't mean I'd smash a hole in it, and that she shouldn't have taken a hammer to my expensive new guitar. FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 3:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by GlueAndCarrots / 05/29/2015 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML
by wouaf / 05/29/2015 at 12:19am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Kids
by idonthavereligion / 05/29/2015 at 12:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by smyp / 05/27/2015 at 6:27pm / Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis) / Work
by concom / 05/27/2015 at 3:40pm / Cyprus / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/27/2015 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health
Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML
by wrestling probs / 05/25/2015 at 10:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML
by Anonymous / 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
by roadie42 / 05/24/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
by Anon / 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my little sister strangling me. My parents accused me of making the red marks on my throat myself to exaggerate how bad it was. She's just "going through a phase", they say, and I'm a bad person for punching her to get her off me. FML
by Anonymous / 05/24/2015 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids
by uwotm8 / 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…