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unhipcircle494

Offline (the 05/21/2015 at 6:01pm) | Search for a member

unhipcircle494

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 December 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1667
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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unhipcircle494's page activity

Visits<b>BrianneL2312</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:07pm

unhipcircle494's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of unhipcircle494's badges

unhipcircle494's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29993) - you deserved it (5129)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (14059)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (7562)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37438) - you deserved it (4237)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called my boss a "fucking retard" for doing something insanely stupid, only for him to find out 5 minutes later that I did exactly the same thing. I'll never hear the end of this now. FML

Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

#21349786
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27143) - you deserved it (3239)

On 02/04/2015 at 4:49pm - misc - by jl_word - United States

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (5479)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33732) - you deserved it (2960)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39220) - you deserved it (3933)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14659) - you deserved it (38305)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

#21349360
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32349) - you deserved it (2357)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:39pm - misc - by FrustratedTutor - United States (Kansas)

Today, I saw my co-worker write about how awful Muslims were and how the religion is stupid, the hijab is oppressive, and how they're a poison on society. When I questioned them about it, they pretty much said that I didn't know anything and should stop talking. I'm Muslim and a hijabi. FML

#21349339
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32187) - you deserved it (5268)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:13pm - work - by coveredupforfun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML

#21349054
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (1675)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Limburg)



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