unhipcircle494

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Offline (the 03/11/2016 at 12:48am)

unhipcircle494

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 December 1998 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4083
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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unhipcircle494's page activity

Visits<b>Psychotique</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:21pm<b>skye147</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:04pm<b>harmonyluver</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:45pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:39am<b>besosforme</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:49pm<b>AliGInTheHouse</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:46pm<b>BrianneL2312</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:07pm

unhipcircle494's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of unhipcircle494's badges

unhipcircle494's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML

by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health

Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML

by Wrabel / 06/08/2015 at 12:00pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy

Today, an old lady in public transport yelled at me and my dog, called me a liar, and threw her grape soda over me because according to her my pet Shiba Inu was actually a fox, and keeping foxes as pets is illegal. FML

by foxownerapperantly / 06/07/2015 at 5:48pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Transportation

Today, just before a job interview, I coughed so violently that I lost my voice. FML

by WarMachine68 / 06/06/2015 at 3:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML

by cockblockedbyFB / 06/06/2015 at 9:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2015 at 12:20am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML

by yuck / 06/05/2015 at 3:11pm / Intimacy

Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 11:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

by NoMoreTacoBell / 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML

by avatarnicole9 / 06/04/2015 at 1:17am / Canada / Animals

Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

by NoUsernamHere / 06/03/2015 at 9:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 6:15am / United States (Indiana) / Health