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unhipcircle494's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
by feels like an asshole / 06/09/2015 at 4:03pm / United States / Health
Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML
by Wrabel / 06/08/2015 at 12:00pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
Today, an old lady in public transport yelled at me and my dog, called me a liar, and threw her grape soda over me because according to her my pet Shiba Inu was actually a fox, and keeping foxes as pets is illegal. FML
by foxownerapperantly / 06/07/2015 at 5:48pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Transportation
by WarMachine68 / 06/06/2015 at 3:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Work
by cockblockedbyFB / 06/06/2015 at 9:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/06/2015 at 12:20am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by yuck / 06/05/2015 at 3:11pm / Intimacy
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 11:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by NoMoreTacoBell / 06/04/2015 at 12:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML
by avatarnicole9 / 06/04/2015 at 1:17am / Canada / Animals
Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML
by NoUsernamHere / 06/03/2015 at 9:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/03/2015 at 6:15am / United States (Indiana) / Health