About unfortunatewsy : *To be announced*
unfortunatewsy's FML badges
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
unfortunatewsy's favorite FMLs
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML
by benji / 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
Today, I saw a group of attractive guys at the mall. One of them looked exactly like a friend, so I decided to take a picture. Trying to be discreet, I put my phone up to my ear as if I was making a phone call, and pressed the capture button. The flash went off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Korisite / 10/30/2011 at 1:31am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 1:02am / United States / Love
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a god damn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
by Anonymous / 10/27/2011 at 10:49pm / United States / Intimacy
by lynnie / 10/23/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/15/2011 at 1:05pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 9:11pm / United States / Love
Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML
by Tom / 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
by Frank / 08/17/2011 at 2:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…