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unfortunatewsy's favorite FMLs
by quick blow / 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
by Badchristian / 04/05/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by pmek / 03/26/2012 at 5:11am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by nycol / 02/17/2012 at 9:13am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by soupisyummy / 02/11/2012 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by xX_nsn_Xx / 02/03/2012 at 9:47am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
by Whyme / 01/09/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML
by 2285morgan / 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry… Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure.… Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't…