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Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14912) - you deserved it (4720)
On 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by quick blow (man) - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31308) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5860) - you deserved it (24686)
On 04/05/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Badchristian (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19399) - you deserved it (1827)
On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30285) - you deserved it (8666)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17327) - you deserved it (3624)
On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7809) - you deserved it (53723)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Today, I looked over my next homework assignment for art class. It was to draw a portrait of my best friend. I can't think of anyone besides my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (2915)
On 02/11/2012 at 2:20pm - misc - by soupisyummy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15921) - you deserved it (6957)
Today, I finally got up the courage to tell my boyfriend of a year and a half that I love him. His response was to start to snore, pretending to be asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (2865)
On 02/08/2012 at 7:07pm - love - by c -
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (6845)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23388) - you deserved it (2445)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (4426)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I heard my alarm go off, dragged myself out of bed, had breakfast and got ready for work. As I was heading out the door I checked the time again. It was 1:41 AM. Apparently my alarm never actually went off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25125) - you deserved it (3999)
On 12/15/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by 2285morgan - United States
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33822) - you deserved it (2172)
On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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