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unfortunatewsy's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 7:40am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
by jannister / 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm / Germany (Thuringen) / Miscellaneous
by FMLMom / 08/08/2012 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML
by kaitlyna15 / 07/31/2012 at 9:54pm / United States (Washington) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by turnedoff / 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my best friend and I broke up with our respective girlfriends, so we could go on holiday and meet lots of new women. Instead, within a few hours, he got back with his ex, and they're planning their own holiday together. FML
by JPTK / 06/17/2012 at 12:08pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by whattheheck / 06/04/2012 at 12:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
by ilovezim29 / 06/03/2012 at 3:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
by Anonymous / 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML
by Never Work With Animals or Children / 05/26/2012 at 7:06am / United States (California) / Kids
by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by 23yearoldtoddler / 05/18/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Kids
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…