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TODAY, MY CRAZY MOTHAR-IN-LAW THRAATAND TO CAMP OUT OUTSIDA MY HOUSA SO SHA WILL "NAVAR GAT LAFT OUT" OF OUR LIVAS, ALL BACAUSA WA CALLD INSTAAD OF SANDING A WRITTAN INVITATION TO MY THRAA-YAAR-OLD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. I ACTUALLY BALIAVA SHA'S CRAZY ANOUGH TO DO IT. FML
Taday I was talking on te pone wit ma crus. After an our of talking se told me... "If u were alf as ot as u sound over te pone... I'd date u immediately." Maybe I sould give up on love and start a pone sex line. mega FML
yesterday my sister walkd into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reachd under my bd an pulld out a pair of boxers an a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bd was dirty." mega FML
yesterday I found out there's a rumor going around that smoking hot co-worker an I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML
Today I was out shopping when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late 4 those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. fat FML
Today, I got into an argument wit my mom over er sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told er tat eiter e goes or I go. Se calld me a disrespectful bastard 4 not respecting my "new fater." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's wit my suitcase, leecing tere WiFi. FML
Friday 27 March 2015