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underyourbreath

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underyourbreath
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 2057
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About underyourbreath : It's a shame that stupid breeds faster and is harder to kill off.

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underyourbreath's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9907) - you deserved it (28337)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I received a "D" on my ethics exam, not because I did not know the information or did not follow the correct guidelines for writing the moral arguments, but because according to my professor my moral values are wrong. FML

Today, I went to the library to pick up Romeo and Juliet, for my English class. After looking around for half an hour, I asked the librarian. "I couldn't find Shakespeare anywhere. Where could I find him?" She quickly replied "He's dead", giggled to herself, and went back to her work. FML

#13599206
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20572) - you deserved it (7660)

On 10/26/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by skippy_liz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35170) - you deserved it (8331)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML

#13551763
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6822) - you deserved it (33797)

On 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed with a pedestal fan on facing us when my boyfriend sneezed. Where did he sneeze? Into the fan, which then sprayed it all over my face. FML

#13524310
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20921) - you deserved it (3269)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by gross - Australia

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (2287)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I temporarily got off the bus for the other students to get off, because they push and shove along their way. Then the bus driver closed the door on me and drove off. My laptop was on that bus. FML

#13509015
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (13840)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at my new job, I was answering the phone and said "Hello Cafe Thirty, how may I help you?" The man on the other line said "Don't you mean Old Town Cafe?" Cafe Thirty was my old job. I now work at Old Town Cafe. The man on the other line was my boss. FML

#13493861
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11751) - you deserved it (22656)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:39am - work - by andibartle - United States (Oregon)

Today, it was my dad's birthday. As a joke, I got him one of those big erasers that say, "FOR BIG MISTAKES." He opened it, tried to erase me with it, then said, "It doesn't work." and left. FML

#13481671
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18447) - you deserved it (24615)

On 10/17/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was called to reports of a drunk and disorderly male. I arrived to discover a drunk man having explosive diarrhoea in a photo booth. He turned to me me and shouted 'God save the Queen'. It's then that I remembered that it's my job to do something about it. FML

#13444115
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26064) - you deserved it (2750)

On 10/14/2010 at 9:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Reserved

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

#13432971
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39693) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brunei Darussalam

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

#13430217
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23706) - you deserved it (3160)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

#13424544
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12710) - you deserved it (30664)

On 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating jell-o and was reading a fact website, when I read that gelatin is made from the collagen in cow or pig bones. I'm vegetarian. FML

#13394926
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9388) - you deserved it (58188)

On 10/10/2010 at 5:47pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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