underyourbreath

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underyourbreath

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3410
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About underyourbreath : It's a shame that stupid breeds faster and is harder to kill off.

underyourbreath's page activity

Visits<b>billybobjim1</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 10:44am<b>Xatraris</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 1:23am<b>Zatert</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:39pm<b>GoPats87</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 1:08am<b>10220706</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:18pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 7:24pm<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:23am<b>derpman123</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 11:00pm<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:31am<b>blues_traveller</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 12:05am<b>user109012</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 5:59am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:03pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:51am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 3:42pm<b>OSU0821</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:16pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:08pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:06pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:41pm

Fucked!<b>Xatraris</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 7:23am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:08pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:56pm

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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underyourbreath's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 12:13am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a concert, my friend grew tired of holding her bag. She asked a man to hold it, saying that he wouldn't steal it "since it was hers". I quietly told her she was too naïve and irresponsible. After the concert, I got home and noticed my wallet was stolen instead, right out of my pocket. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I was online and I saw a friend that I hadn't talked to in two years come online. I IM'ed him, only for him to respond, "I haven't responded to any messages of yours in over a year. Most people would get the hint." FML

by wingless_angel_7 / 12/02/2010 at 6:43pm / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I refused to ride with a friend on a motorcycle because it is unsafe and went to take the bus. As I got off the bus, I got hit by a speeding motorcycle and ended up in hospital. FML

by leilei / 11/29/2010 at 7:25pm / Philippines / Health

Today, I camped outside of a Best Buy to guarantee I'd get a cheap Blu Ray player. My friend who got there five minutes after they opened also managed to get one. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 12:31pm / United States (Ohio) / Geek

Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML

by blackitalian / 11/26/2010 at 10:43am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

by T_Willl / 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm / Work

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

by sweet_stufz / 11/11/2010 at 8:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2010 at 5:55am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Animals

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 5:18am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2010 at 5:05am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my friend and I dressed up as dice for Halloween. The rest of the night consisted of us, harassed by drunks asking, 'Can we roll you around?' and constantly being shaken. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 10:00am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 1:07am / New Zealand (Taranaki) / Kids

Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML

by Florida / 10/27/2010 at 2:46pm / United States (California) / Animals