underyourbreath

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underyourbreath

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3327
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About underyourbreath : It's a shame that stupid breeds faster and is harder to kill off.

underyourbreath's page activity

Visits<b>Xatraris</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 1:23am<b>Zatert</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:39pm<b>GoPats87</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 1:08am<b>10220706</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:18pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 7:24pm<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:23am<b>derpman123</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 11:00pm<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:31am<b>blues_traveller</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 12:05am<b>user109012</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 5:59am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:03pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:51am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 3:42pm<b>OSU0821</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:16pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:08pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:06pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:41pm<b>Celeden</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:48pm

Fucked!<b>Xatraris</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 7:23am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:08pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:56pm

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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underyourbreath's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer asked me to give 5 adjectives describing myself. I listed 7. The last one being "listener." FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2011 at 10:35pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2010 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

by ewicsmelly / 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2010 at 3:12am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Money

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

by lisa / 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

by screwed / 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

by morenita27 / 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm / Canada / Work

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

by synyster505 / 12/19/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

by carson28 / 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

by shit / 12/14/2010 at 4:26am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I spent ages looking for a parking space at the mall. I saw a couple walking out of the mall and decided to follow them and take their space when they left. After following them for a good ten minutes, I realised they were heading to the bus stop. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2010 at 4:55pm / United Kingdom / Transportation