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underyourbreath

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underyourbreath

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2251
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About underyourbreath : It's a shame that stupid breeds faster and is harder to kill off.

underyourbreath's page activity

Visits<b>Nooblah</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:16am<b>kubackster</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:39pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:01pm<b>maxsing</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 5:01pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:05am<b>jsosk</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 4:24am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:40pm<b>facelick</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 9:46am<b>mattjamt</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:36pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:41am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 7:54am<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:04pm<b>wopchop12</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 11:37pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 4:02am<b>rob02</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 2:12pm

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underyourbreath's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a job interview. The interviewer asked me to give 5 adjectives describing myself. I listed 7. The last one being "listener." FML

#14456122
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6333) - you deserved it (31911)

On 01/03/2011 at 10:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that I'll have to explain to my child that mommy and daddy met on World of Warcraft. FML

#14376347
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14900) - you deserved it (48505)

On 12/29/2010 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I kept finding ants crawling all over my face. After a while, I realized that they were all coming from my beard. I have had a population of ants living in my beard. FML

#14373972
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10979) - you deserved it (50671)

On 12/28/2010 at 9:13pm - health - by ewicsmelly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

#14342949
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55449) - you deserved it (4239)

On 12/26/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

#14322197
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7444) - you deserved it (86766)

On 12/24/2010 at 10:12am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

#14298065
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10139) - you deserved it (45462)

On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

#14297992
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39322) - you deserved it (3747)

On 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by screwed (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

#14277072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44790) - you deserved it (3620)

On 12/20/2010 at 8:52pm - work - by morenita27 (woman) - Canada

Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML

#14266887
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13061) - you deserved it (25494)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:02am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I put my old kitchen table at the end of my driveway with a free sign on it. Later, I saw my neighbor drag it to his yard with a $50 for sale sign on it. It's now gone. FML

#14255221
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10966) - you deserved it (31861)

On 12/19/2010 at 12:41am - misc - by synyster505 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

#14228543
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44098) - you deserved it (5649)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by carson28 - United States (California)

Today, as I spent my last $6 on groceries, the woman at the register gave me a dirty look because I declined to donate $1 to a children's charity. My six year old son immediately chimed in with, "Mommy, why aren't you helping the poor children?" FML

#14220107
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36801) - you deserved it (4994)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14377) - you deserved it (27031)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98874) - you deserved it (5407)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spent ages looking for a parking space at the mall. I saw a couple walking out of the mall and decided to follow them and take their space when they left. After following them for a good ten minutes, I realised they were heading to the bus stop. FML

#14155687
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7602) - you deserved it (27954)

On 12/10/2010 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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