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underyourbreath

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underyourbreath
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 2054
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About underyourbreath : It's a shame that stupid breeds faster and is harder to kill off.

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underyourbreath's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I went to go use an automatic cart in Walmart because I broke my hip in January. They were all being used by morbidly obese people throughout the store. I asked a manager if she could get me one, but apparently their weight issues are more impeding than my broken hip. FML

#14873123
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33670) - you deserved it (3024)

On 02/06/2011 at 9:36pm - misc - by LimpMcgee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while waiting for a job interview, a woman sat down next to me and asked if I was here for the job too. Thinking she was also an applicant, I tried to demoralise her, and said the job was going to be a complete joke. With that, she stood up and said, "Do you still want to go into my office?" She was the interviewer. FML

#14826763
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6753) - you deserved it (65346)

On 02/03/2011 at 1:53pm - work - by parker1993 (man) - United States

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38008) - you deserved it (7384)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office for an appointment. After waiting for ages, I asked the receptionist what the delay was. Apparently, I had no standing appointment today. This is coming from the same receptionist who checked me in nearly two hours ago. FML

#14733317
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (2308)

On 01/27/2011 at 4:31pm - work - by ihateoldmagazines (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, whilst on hold to an important client, I said to my co-workers "F*cking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite". I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML

#14729337
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4563) - you deserved it (25956)

On 01/27/2011 at 6:20am - work - by GHTD (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I was denied food stamp assistance. Apparently, you need to work 20 hours a week while being a full time student to qualify or have a work study. I was recently suspended from my work study for calling off because my aunt died, and if I worked 20 hours a week, why would I need food stamps? FML

#14718664
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (4983)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:41am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 4 year old cousin is staying overnight. Every time I fall asleep he wakes me up to tell me I fell asleep. FML

#14716778
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29686) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:48am - kids - by Braelynn -

Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML

#14705471
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6250) - you deserved it (47317)

On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -

Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML

#14653951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38370) - you deserved it (3258)

On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12843) - you deserved it (34217) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19585) - you deserved it (2710)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (2654)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML

#14524101
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28538) - you deserved it (3003)

On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

#14463588
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6362) - you deserved it (63898)

On 01/04/2011 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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