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underyourbreath

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underyourbreath

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2627
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About underyourbreath : It's a shame that stupid breeds faster and is harder to kill off.

underyourbreath's page activity

Visits<b>OSU0821</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:16pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:08pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:06pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:41pm<b>Celeden</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:48pm<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:36am<b>NathanIsALoser</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 11:25pm<b>MrPigg</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 1:53pm<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 12:23pm<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 9:08pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:12am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 11:56am<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 5:51pm<b>maddiealexx_</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:15pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:16am<b>kubackster</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:39pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:01pm

Fucked!<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:08pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:56pm

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underyourbreath's favorite FMLs

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

#15705121
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17997) - you deserved it (30413)

On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one ringing me from down the hall. FML

#15678206
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10057) - you deserved it (36564)

On 04/07/2011 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML

#15515343
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16239) - you deserved it (52774)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML

#15409356
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (6806)

On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

#15374128
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10409) - you deserved it (61206)

On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States

Today, I went on a date, the first one I've been on since my last boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. We were in a restaurant, and at the end of meal he insisted on paying the bill. He wanted to leave a 15% tip but couldn't work out in his head how much to leave. The bill was for £100. FML

#15336709
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26588) - you deserved it (13768)

On 03/16/2011 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was driving in stop and go traffic and passed two accidents in the process. I got nervous and decided to change routes to avoid getting hit. As I was trying to find an alternative route on my GPS, I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML

#15333095
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8162) - you deserved it (50958)

On 03/16/2011 at 2:54am - misc - by dumbluck - United States

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46171) - you deserved it (8755)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46182) - you deserved it (4212)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML

#15189592
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7085) - you deserved it (56553)

On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13535) - you deserved it (34975)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32329) - you deserved it (5218)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29208) - you deserved it (3495)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

#14909703
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51676) - you deserved it (13602)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States



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