About underyourbreath : It's a shame that stupid breeds faster and is harder to kill off.
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Judgmental
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Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14991) - you deserved it (21692)
On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one ringing me from down the hall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7644) - you deserved it (25675)
On 04/07/2011 at 9:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12959) - you deserved it (39753)
On 03/27/2011 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (5484)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8750) - you deserved it (54880)
On 03/18/2011 at 10:29pm - health - by iAMloud - United States
Today, I went on a date, the first one I've been on since my last boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. We were in a restaurant, and at the end of meal he insisted on paying the bill. He wanted to leave a 15% tip but couldn't work out in his head how much to leave. The bill was for £100. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19726) - you deserved it (10609)
On 03/16/2011 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was driving in stop and go traffic and passed two accidents in the process. I got nervous and decided to change routes to avoid getting hit. As I was trying to find an alternative route on my GPS, I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6094) - you deserved it (38060)
On 03/16/2011 at 2:54am - misc - by dumbluck - United States
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38950) - you deserved it (7128)
On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38955) - you deserved it (3311)
On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -
Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (1769)
On 03/05/2011 at 7:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5349) - you deserved it (43550)
On 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10255) - you deserved it (25878)
On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24972) - you deserved it (3911)
On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -
Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (2624)
On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44899) - you deserved it (12136)
On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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