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underyourbreath

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underyourbreath

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2317
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About underyourbreath : It's a shame that stupid breeds faster and is harder to kill off.

underyourbreath's page activity

Visits<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:29pm<b>taytaysings97</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 5:51pm<b>maddiealexx_</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:15pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 12:16am<b>kubackster</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Pedregon30</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:39pm<b>mip_92</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 9:01pm<b>maxsing</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 10:15pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 5:01pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:05am<b>jsosk</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 4:24am<b>thebeast74</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 8:40pm<b>facelick</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 9:46am<b>mattjamt</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 6:36pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 3:41am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 7:54am<b>ariastyles12</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 11:46pm<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 1:04pm

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underyourbreath's favorite FMLs

Today, our power went out due to some severe storms. My daughter, who is 18, asked me why the lights on the car still worked. FML

#17333376
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35653) - you deserved it (9016)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm - misc - by OhDeary (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

#17255469
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29665) - you deserved it (7256)

On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41562) - you deserved it (5492) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML

#17231826
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40861) - you deserved it (2782)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:27pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML

#17190246
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37115) - you deserved it (10690)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by John (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34156) - you deserved it (7153)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my tonsils swelled to roughly the size of golf balls. My mom refuses to take me to the hospital because she's convinced I got it from kissing someone, and until I "fess up", she's not budging. FML

#17109448
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35135) - you deserved it (2723)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:21pm - health - by Eden - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10454) - you deserved it (75579) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

#16758820
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26836) - you deserved it (13523)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:12am - love - by blondetergent (man) - Singapore

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (57881)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13677) - you deserved it (47952)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96916) - you deserved it (10720)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

#16519347
463 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10529) - you deserved it (117039)

On 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by kringr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from high school at the exact pizza shop we met at where I worked in high school. She broke it off with me after she caught me cheating with her best friend. These days, she's a lawyer who makes six figures a year. I still work at the same pizza shop. FML

#16495261
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10828) - you deserved it (110133)

On 06/04/2011 at 5:36am - love - by PizzaBoySwag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36661) - you deserved it (2980)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)



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