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underyourbreath

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underyourbreath
  • Town/Country : Boston, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 2058
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About underyourbreath : It's a shame that stupid breeds faster and is harder to kill off.

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underyourbreath's favorite FMLs

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30035) - you deserved it (15041)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (5467)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML

#17481344
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11848) - you deserved it (32326)

On 08/15/2011 at 3:14pm - kids - by ollie179 - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (9032)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (8709)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14782) - you deserved it (23418)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27534) - you deserved it (3768)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

#17406072
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20697) - you deserved it (3366)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

#17398453
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22671) - you deserved it (7884)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm - work - by power corrupts... (woman) - Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj)

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML

#17392866
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37636) - you deserved it (3778)

On 08/07/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by Taylor D - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30609) - you deserved it (9233)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

#17376704
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24981) - you deserved it (2262)

On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)

Today, a customer threw his cup of coffee at me screaming that it wasn't hot enough. Well, maybe it wasn't hot enough for him, but it was sure hot enough to burn me. FML

#17358704
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32167) - you deserved it (1962)

On 08/03/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by localbarista (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother updated her will. Previously, it denied inheritance to family members with non-white spouses, and any mixed-raced children. Now it does the same with politically correct terminology. She then bragged about how accepting she is in front of my Korean husband and our daughter. FML

#17336031
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28660) - you deserved it (3066)

On 08/01/2011 at 8:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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