underyourbreath

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underyourbreath

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3407
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About underyourbreath : It's a shame that stupid breeds faster and is harder to kill off.

underyourbreath's page activity

Visits<b>billybobjim1</b> - yesterday at 10:44am<b>Xatraris</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 1:23am<b>Zatert</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:39pm<b>GoPats87</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 1:08am<b>10220706</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:18pm<b>Rich531</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 7:24pm<b>Dr_Awesome654</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 12:23am<b>derpman123</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 11:00pm<b>LoveNnyl</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:31am<b>blues_traveller</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 12:05am<b>user109012</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 5:59am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:03pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 11:51am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 3:42pm<b>OSU0821</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:16pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 5:08pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 2:06pm<b>Hieroglyph</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:41pm

Fucked!<b>Xatraris</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 7:23am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 11:08pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:56pm

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Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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underyourbreath's favorite FMLs

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

by tommyboy783 / 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Missouri) / Animals

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

by planking champion / 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML

by mass message / 10/15/2011 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2011 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

by Cassandra / 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

by Pookaa / 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

by Lyingg / 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML

by danii / 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2011 at 4:49pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

by Sam / 09/26/2011 at 7:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health