Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

umerin

Online | Search for a member

umerin

55Liked!

umerin
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 May 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1015
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 36 posted

About umerin : 🚮

umerin's page activity

Visits<b>skittycat213</b> - 17 hours ago<b>flupsht</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Kirito_Kazuto</b> - 19 hours ago<b>LEGATE_LANIUS</b> - yesterday at 6:07am<b>Fierce_Cat_</b> - yesterday at 12:35am<b>ThatOneLoudGuy</b> - yesterday at 11:38pm<b>manchesterUK</b> - yesterday at 3:39pm<b>Loving_Deception</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:43pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:28pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:19pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 3:49pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:24am<b>Dramori</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 9:04am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 6:52am<b>AnonymousUser90</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:04pm<b>carolyn_m</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:06pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 2:00pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:12pm

Liked!<b>twistedtwincity</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:40pm<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:52am<b>BruinsFTW108</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:38am<b>mattlikesfunions</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:55pm<b>LEGATE_LANIUS</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:03pm<b>Nlyoder</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:04pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 11:45am<b>devinsanders1925</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 8:48am<b>c_wyld</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 8:18pm<b>Kpayla2093</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 5:21pm<b>cmchappy</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 1:07am<b>superwolf33</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:20am<b>RA91</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:24pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 12:57pm<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 4:28pm<b>watermelon15</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:21pm<b>Gundai</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 7:50pm<b>Hertyn</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:45pm

umerin's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

See all of umerin's badges

umerin's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

#21312200
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26987) - you deserved it (13527)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm - animals - by sting - United States (California)

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

#21309384
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27596) - you deserved it (7471)

On 12/01/2014 at 11:38am - misc - by WickedLittleDoll - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

#21303819
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32294) - you deserved it (3748)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (2961)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32154) - you deserved it (3556)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33885) - you deserved it (2577)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (45150)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35180) - you deserved it (11511)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39766) - you deserved it (4854)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41505) - you deserved it (2998)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42450) - you deserved it (4253)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51035) - you deserved it (4889)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41621) - you deserved it (17434)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: