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umerin

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umerin

36Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 May 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 723
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 34 posted

About umerin : when i grow up i wanna be cool

umerin's page activity

Visits<b>AHzulu</b> - 6 hours ago<b>colton_colton</b> - 7 hours ago<b>christofferkamal</b> - 11 hours ago<b>flupsht</b> - 17 hours ago<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - yesterday at 10:32pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - yesterday at 8:01pm<b>abv96</b> - yesterday at 6:10pm<b>getcrazy</b> - yesterday at 5:46pm<b>LanceGoodthrust</b> - yesterday at 7:40am<b>AustinDenton</b> - yesterday at 2:33am<b>FallenLyric</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:32pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 11:00pm<b>rkdstp1995</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:52pm<b>starbarbazar</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Gundai</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:59pm<b>jizzwold</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:09pm<b>soccerforlife_27</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:46am<b>Jaaared_</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:13am

Liked!<b>christofferkamal</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:24am<b>Jaager</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 2:08am<b>ceelos97</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 11:45am<b>Jaaared_</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:45am<b>stevieman99</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:09am<b>tay_arredondo</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:53am<b>TheEmoSuperman</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 8:43am<b>Soccer_Ninja01</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:46am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 12:24pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:23pm<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 12:25pm<b>eaglerob</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:49am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:06am<b>Soccer_Playr</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 5:23am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:55am<b>somthingstupd</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:31am<b>crashk13</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:29am

umerin's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Follow up

You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

See all of umerin's badges

umerin's favorite FMLs

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32029) - you deserved it (3544)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my psychotic, very jealous ex-boyfriend appeared out of nowhere and punched a male store clerk who was helping me look for azaleas in a garden center. FML

#21264094
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33702) - you deserved it (2563)

On 09/23/2014 at 9:19pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23334) - you deserved it (45110)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (11496)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39710) - you deserved it (4850)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (2996)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41028) - you deserved it (4040)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML

#21199181
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50435) - you deserved it (4834)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (16730)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46097) - you deserved it (8312)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

#21179030
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35320) - you deserved it (11833)

On 06/18/2014 at 2:37am - animals - by a very unlucky dude. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML

#21175131
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44777) - you deserved it (6206)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:31am - love - by mydatinglifesucks - United States

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40152) - you deserved it (4276)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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