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Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29813) - you totally deserved it (5119)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42299) - you totally deserved it (10226)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44148) - you totally deserved it (13391)
On 07/25/2009 at 1:14pm - money - by Pottymouth (man) - United States
Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34481) - you totally deserved it (3043)
On 07/15/2009 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to a neon themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49549) - you totally deserved it (7969)
On 07/14/2009 at 8:23am - misc - by paddy (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46376) - you totally deserved it (7700)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29768) - you totally deserved it (9101)
On 07/02/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by ChocoMilkManG (man) - United States
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