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ukwn

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ukwn's page activity

Visits<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 6:03pm<b>A_Person_FML</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 4:14pm<b>FatRoll</b> - the 10/24/2011 at 9:30am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:14pm<b>ColorfulDonut</b> - the 07/24/2011 at 3:47pm

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ukwn's favorite FMLs

Today, I Got Pulled Over For Going About 88mph. When The Cop Asked Y I Was Speeding, I Replied, "I Was Trying To Go Back In Time". He Didn't Like That Answer And Gave Me A Ticket. FML

#16248002
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11353) - you deserved it (63583)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I got a bonar in ta MRI looool macinaila ma palvic bona was baing scannad. FML

#16218945
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47134) - you deserved it (7691)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, mah girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funnyhen I laid out all looool of our spice on the bed. She now refuse to have sex. FML

#16200408
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21222) - you deserved it (62274)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

today while tanning on a family cruise, I woke up to a crowd of people staring at me in disgust . Apparently, I'd fallen asleep, developd a boner, an startd french-kissing the air . I had to sit through both the surveillance tapes an a grand bollocking from security in the aftermath . FML

#16161351
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (9898)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by f*cks_sake - United States (Ohio)

Today, having turnd 18, I was eager to show mother some of the cloths I'd like to purchase with birthday money. I flippd laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echod through kitchen. FML

#16074880
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13483) - you deserved it (57224)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my usband got out of te sower, came downstars naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did e know, my step moter was sitting rigt tere at te kitcen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44905) - you deserved it (5623)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

looool Today, a very attractive grl moved in across te road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed se was looking out er window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over ma own feet, ands in pocket, and faceplanting te ood of ma dad's car. FML

#15890797
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (18788)

On 04/22/2011 at 9:39pm - kids - by NathanPlays - United States (California)

Today , grlfriend compard penis to an ewok from Star Wars!! She says it's short , stubby , an fuzzy!! Now she sings the Star Wars themehen we hang out!! FML

#15817034
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44123) - you deserved it (8466)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking!! He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted!! FML

#15748072
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (2947)

On 04/11/2011 at 11:07pm - health - by ILiveWithMorons (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making love to mah wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

#15636235
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39874) - you deserved it (10984)

On 04/04/2011 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by Abyssal (man) - United States (Utah)

My Boyfriend Pulled On My Pubes And Made 'engine Starting' Noises. This Was His Attempt At Foreplay. FML

#15617936
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (14457)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriand in his badroom. It was gatting pratty intansa, so ha got up to closa tha door. Whila ha was facing tha othar way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right whan I lat go of it, his mom walkd in and it hit har in tha faca. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48871) - you deserved it (27547)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Yesterday... mah parents thought it would be appropriate to tell mah girlfriend that I usd to stick mah penis looool in a sock puppet and talk to ithen I was younger. FML

#15401904
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46845) - you deserved it (9788)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:31pm - intimacy - by HotAsTits (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

TODAY, MAH FATHER CAME OVER TO MAH HOUSE. I REALIZED THERE WERE CONDOMS ON THE TABLE, SO I SUBTLY MOVED A VASE TO HIDE THEM. HE THEN GAVE ME AN UNAMUSED LOOK AN SAID ( I KNOW YOU HAVE SEX. YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR NINE YEARS. GROW THE FUCK UP, DUMBASS. ) FML

#15356314
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18301) - you deserved it (83071)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

TODAY , MY BOYFRIEND DID THE AUSTIN POWERS DANCE/STRIP-TEASE WHILE DANCING TO 'I TOUCH MYSELF'. IT WAS CUTE UNTIL HE RIPPED OFF HIS SHRT AND REVEALED THAT HE'D SHAVED HIS CHEST HAIR IN THE SHAPE OF A PENIS. FML

#15261290
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46124) - you deserved it (8745)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



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