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ukwn

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ukwn

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  • Number of visits : 1713
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ukwn's page activity

Visits<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 6:03pm<b>A_Person_FML</b> - the 11/12/2011 at 4:14pm<b>FatRoll</b> - the 10/24/2011 at 9:30am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:14pm<b>ColorfulDonut</b> - the 07/24/2011 at 3:47pm

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ukwn's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad taught me how to swim. I had to keep doing a lot of strange movements to keep my body floating. While doing that, two 8-year-old girls came and asked me if i needed help getting out of the water. I'm a 20 year old guy. FML

#17582783
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (7780)

On 08/26/2011 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35779) - you deserved it (2576)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

#17460856
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28345) - you deserved it (5703)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML

#17457057
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39058) - you deserved it (4206)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:37am - love - by bTOhno - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was on the bus when a really cute guy came on. The only seat left was the one next to me, so I smiled and waited for him to sit down. He looked at the seat, looked at me, and opted to stand until his stop. FML

#17451356
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28770) - you deserved it (4280)

On 08/12/2011 at 4:10pm - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (4272)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

#17406158
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28117) - you deserved it (3908)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

#17398167
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35973) - you deserved it (4396)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Eddie (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

#17389169
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25574) - you deserved it (4258)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (8149)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

#17381652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (5253)

On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29438) - you deserved it (3693)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

#17380404
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34680) - you deserved it (3347)

On 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40161) - you deserved it (3235)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

#17322871
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33112) - you deserved it (14560)

On 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by username (woman) - United States (New York)



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