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One ring to rule them all
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ukrainechk1398's favorite FMLs
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
by lovewedge / 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML
by Sad / 03/01/2009 at 4:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My team mates waved and said "Bye POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML
by ap84 / 02/27/2009 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML
by not getting any anymore / 02/21/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML
by OutoftheLoop / 02/20/2009 at 4:24am / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous
by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love
by someonevexed / 02/01/2009 at 2:01pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love
Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML
by DarkPhoenix / 12/04/2008 at 6:16am / Miscellaneous
Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML
by mehdi / 10/13/2008 at 4:20am / Miscellaneous