Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ukrainechk1398

Search for a member

ukrainechk1398

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 464
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ukrainechk1398's page activity

Visits<b>boundupguy0308</b> - the 05/02/2013 at 3:40am

ukrainechk1398's FML badges

One ring to rule them all

You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of ukrainechk1398's badges

ukrainechk1398's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (43078)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37047) - you deserved it (5652)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51765) - you deserved it (17573)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

#16331288
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52596) - you deserved it (8610)

On 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by asnolt (man) - United States (California)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44295) - you deserved it (4759)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36377) - you deserved it (5572)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45884) - you deserved it (8715)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

#15238370
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (3752)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -

Today, while having sex, I found out that I'm so flexible that when I bend over backwards, the backs of my knees can touch my shoulders. My boyfriend is now extremely jealous and is debating about breaking up with me. Even I don't get it. FML

#15113643
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43651) - you deserved it (4209)

On 02/25/2011 at 11:03am - intimacy - by inder (woman) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44169) - you deserved it (8747)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, during PE I got hit in the face with the ball. Everyone cheered because we got 5 extra points. No one asked if I was okay. FML

#14706405
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22965) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/25/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Jim -

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML

#14448955
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17937) - you deserved it (7465)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (3234)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because 'I look like his hamster when I'm eating sunflower seeds.' FML

#13285229
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28147) - you deserved it (5270)

On 10/02/2010 at 2:28am - love - by ohman - Singapore

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12348) - you deserved it (25869)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: