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Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5092) - you deserved it (33541)
On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13117) - you deserved it (1545)
On 03/24/2012 at 9:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized I've been confusing scenes from The Lord of the Rings with American history. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5373) - you deserved it (15785)
On 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by Avery - United States (California)
Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (2778)
On 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm - misc - by Laura - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14848) - you deserved it (3339)
On 03/20/2012 at 3:15pm - misc - by lyla - United States
Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML
I agree, your life sucks (16207) - you deserved it (1803)
On 03/14/2012 at 10:38am - love - by mel_bear_ (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22990) - you deserved it (3043)
On 03/11/2012 at 8:38am - work - by aprilmay91 - United States
Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17775) - you deserved it (2329)
On 03/02/2012 at 10:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my therapist clapped for me when I told her I'd made a friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20534) - you deserved it (2451)
On 03/01/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by ohdang - United States (Illinois)
Today, the only thing that cheered me up was a documentary about IKEA, and seeing how my furniture was made. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13335) - you deserved it (2666)
On 02/28/2012 at 10:51am - misc - by sadgirl (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, while I was eating lunch at work, I practically had a panic attack because I'd forgotten to feed my Neopet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6964) - you deserved it (22357)
On 02/26/2012 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (4067)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19575) - you deserved it (1450)
On 02/18/2012 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19266) - you deserved it (11692)
On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23687) - you deserved it (3345)
On 02/03/2012 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Monday 17 June 2013
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