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ukrainechk1398's favorite FMLs
by maddiecat / 01/08/2013 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 12:48am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, I was late for class. I have extreme social anxiety, so I quietly slipped into the huge, packed auditiorium, trying to be as quiet as possible. When I was almost to my seat, I accidentally kicked a teacher's coffee down the steps. The entire class looked at me and clapped. FML
by conspicuous / 09/12/2012 at 4:11pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Iguana / 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/25/2012 at 8:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by alix / 08/24/2012 at 11:45am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm / United States / Love
by scarredforlife / 08/16/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML
by Bree / 08/15/2012 at 11:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML
by dumbasdogshit / 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health
Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy
by mike h / 08/10/2012 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by Anonymous / 08/09/2012 at 6:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have… Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly… Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah...…