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Offline (the 10/27/2015 at 4:20am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1065
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About ukeandfoodislife : Welcome to my profile! If you click that Fuck button, I'll return the favor ☺️

ukeandfoodislife's page activity

Visits<b>kenzie6777</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 12:47pm<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 12:44am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 1:36pm<b>jonah777</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 3:17pm<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 1:47pm<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:31pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:20pm<b>itta_pupu</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 11:40pm<b>gomiyage</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:52am<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 8:50pm<b>YumeWolf</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 9:18am<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 1:20pm<b>idkwyatt</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 10:29pm<b>TheInvisibleOne</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 10:46pm<b>mbdresnick</b> - the 09/27/2015 at 7:01am<b>ALPHA8WOLF</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 11:43pm<b>Galactic_lights</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 8:18pm<b>Jowisee</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:08am

Fucked!<b>thundercrow1999</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 6:44am<b>jonah777</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 9:17pm<b>TheInvisibleOne</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 4:46am<b>qwertydude1</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 8:50pm<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 6:12am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 6:12pm<b>the_panda</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Timpa70</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 8:59am<b>apineapple</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 5:29am<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:06am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:14am<b>looking4funny</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:21pm<b>jozhe</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 2:44pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 6:31pm<b>ArcheryArtist</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:29am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:16pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:51pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:36pm

ukeandfoodislife's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of ukeandfoodislife's badges

ukeandfoodislife's favorite FMLs

Today, I filled up my company car with my own debit card, instead of my fuel card. It was the last £40 I had for the month. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2015 at 10:02pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Money

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

by wtf did he do / 07/19/2015 at 5:02am / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

by padthaimeanoose / 07/18/2015 at 11:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

by ddhaley1 / 07/18/2015 at 3:08pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

by cherokeems / 03/26/2015 at 1:44pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home from vacation, only to find my neighbours relaxing on my patio, and their kids swimming in my pool. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:42pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Holidays

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

by NosChersVoisins / 07/01/2014 at 12:55am / France (Aquitaine) / Love

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

by Pisser / 06/26/2014 at 12:57am / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2013 at 9:41am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous