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ujonesy

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ujonesy
  • Town/Country : Wiesbaden, Germany
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 April 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 647
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ujonesy : I have been in the Army since I graduated in 2005 and I live in Germany. I have been sationed in Korea, Ft. Stewart, Germany and I also deployed to Iraq from October 2007 - July 2008

ujonesy's last visitors

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ujonesy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ujonesy's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25224) - you deserved it (3239)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

#14043975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28515) - you deserved it (3028)

On 12/01/2010 at 1:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq

Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

#14032077
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7070) - you deserved it (23174)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

#13990744
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (6629)

On 11/26/2010 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Interrupted - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24873) - you deserved it (8807)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

#13938957
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20863) - you deserved it (3109)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

#13738415
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (8615)

On 11/06/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by anonymous_0505 (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML

#13697546
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30485) - you deserved it (7151)

On 11/03/2010 at 2:40am - intimacy - by spockswifey - United States

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (5242)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

#13419509
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6443) - you deserved it (37343)

On 10/12/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

#13339943
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30302) - you deserved it (2971)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

#13298402
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14791) - you deserved it (35567)

On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

#13169331
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8320) - you deserved it (29171)

On 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33021) - you deserved it (22081)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

#12408546
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10823) - you deserved it (47021)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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