ujonesy

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ujonesy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 April 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 839
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ujonesy : I have been in the Army since I graduated in 2005 and I live in Germany. I have been sationed in Korea, Ft. Stewart, Germany and I also deployed to Iraq from October 2007 - July 2008

ujonesy's page activity

Visits<b>mkmon7</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 11:52am<b>kpoakes</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 6:35pm<b>doubledee8</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 7:53am<b>M3DO</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 7:55pm<b>Da3rdmaquan</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 6:17pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 11:27am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:07pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 3:11am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 2:48pm<b>kmaheynoway</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 7:11pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 1:06pm<b>3visions</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Remehdy</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:17pm<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:12pm<b>ADeadMan</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 3:44am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 1:16am<b>spiko99</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 1:11am<b>guitardude69</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 3:59pm

ujonesy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ujonesy's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm / United States / Geek

Today, I had to pull guard duty. I had to guard the latrine because somebody likes to stuff whole toilet paper rolls in the toilet to clog it. Only six more months in Iraq. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 1:38am / Iraq / Work

Today, I flew into Denver. Never being here before, I was excited to see the view from our window. In the middle seat, I leaned over to look - at the same time yawning to relieve pressure in my ears. The yawning caused me to drool on the stranger sitting next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 1:08am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, while I was making love to my fiancé, his mom walked out of the hotel bathroom and sat in a chair less than two feet away from the bed. She made idle conversation with us for the next 15 minutes. My fiancé was still inside me the entire time. FML

by Interrupted / 11/26/2010 at 8:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

by reesemaster / 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband that I wanted to take advantage of the alone time we would have while our kids are visiting my parents. My idea? A nice dinner out and kinky sex all night long. His idea? Chinese buffet and subsequent dutch ovens in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 5:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

by anonymous_0505 / 11/06/2010 at 1:24pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Love

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he had ever cheated on me. In the most sincere and honest tone, he said "if I ever have or ever will, there's no way you would ever find out. I love you too much to lose you", and gave me a hug. FML

by spockswifey / 11/03/2010 at 2:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 4:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 11:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 4:30am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2010 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my chemistry professor made us all leave our classroom mid-lab because the class was complaining of the smell, and he was worried that there was a gas leak from one of the Bunsen burners. There wasn't, but it's nice to know my "silent but deadly" smelled like it might actually kill. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2010 at 12:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

by Sicko / 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm / Intimacy

Today, I went to the drive-through and ordered 5 cheeseburgers. I told the cashier that some of them were for my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend, and I ate all of them by myself. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2010 at 9:24am / United States (Connecticut) / Health