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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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uawildcats7

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uawildcats7
  • Town/Country : Tucson, Az, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 13 January 1980 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 357
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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uawildcats7's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (14561) - you deserved it (29845)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

#17170835 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (27702) - you deserved it (2743)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by tLee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

#15901266 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (8394) - you deserved it (34852)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (26086) - you deserved it (11866)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

#15846641 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (20274) - you deserved it (15445)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by killercow - United States (Louisiana)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912 (610)

I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (35572)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (40818) - you deserved it (31818)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (22497) - you deserved it (2498)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (23508) - you deserved it (6336)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

#5349169 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (28809) - you deserved it (5902)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (4546)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her stoner, unemployed boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML

#5235406 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (2652)

On 09/13/2009 at 7:10pm - kids - by Broeman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 15 year old sister came home at 4am totally stoned. My parents treated her really nicely and woke me up. I'm now grounded until I go college for being a bad influence. I volunteer at schools to talk about abusing drugs. FML

#5229708 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (40044) - you deserved it (2046)

On 09/13/2009 at 2:19pm - kids - by BigSister (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

#5149923 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (3280)

On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

#5145727 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (6224) - you deserved it (39205)

On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States



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