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uampa's favorite FMLs
by umyuck / 05/03/2015 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my work department set a new sales record, something not done in nearly 30 years. It's corporate policy to give a bonus to each worker responsible as a reward. Our manager decided our "bonuses" would be plastic medals from Dollar Tree. He didn't even buy enough for everybody. FML
by anon / 12/05/2014 at 10:44am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML
by whattdafuuukkkk / 06/05/2012 at 7:56am / United States / Work
by crazygirl12 / 07/29/2011 at 11:18am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
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- Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally… Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I… Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him…