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u_mad_bro

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u_mad_bro
  • Town/Country : Arkham City, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1162
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About u_mad_bro : Yesss?

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u_mad_bro's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a poop that was three states of matter. Solid, liquid, and gas. FML

#18507550
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21591) - you deserved it (7047)

On 12/13/2011 at 10:45pm - health - by brownunderwear - United States (Washington)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML

#18479252
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25659) - you deserved it (2355)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:01pm - love - by DJ - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

#18475909
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (3132)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML

#18433688
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23878) - you deserved it (8122)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:13am - health - by lol (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13666) - you deserved it (42535)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33631) - you deserved it (5840)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I have the stomach flu. If my belly growls, I have 30 seconds or less to get to the bathroom. I can't go to the doctor for fear of shitting my pants on the trip there. FML

#18392347
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22972) - you deserved it (1485)

On 11/30/2011 at 5:53am - health - by shitty day - United States

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (4756)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (45194)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (45194)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, my husband asked me, "Why do you love me?" I spent the next five minutes spilling my heart and soul out to him. After I'd asked the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I don't." FML

#18374198
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45242) - you deserved it (3478)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:51am - love - by nirvana_mama157 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26965) - you deserved it (8367)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (2287)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML

#18354788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21098) - you deserved it (2948)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:18am - work - by taternuts - Canada



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