About u_mad_bro : Yesss?
u_mad_bro's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
u_mad_bro's favorite FMLs
Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML
by winstonweigand / 08/14/2014 at 6:40pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:28am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 5:25am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, during a silent breathing meditation at the Buddhist center, I accidentally let one rip which echoed through the meditation chamber. If that wasn't bad enough, the follow-up odor was enough to fell a charging rhinoceros. FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2013 at 2:57am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by shelbylove115 / 02/22/2013 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by lolo / 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm / Israel (HaDarom) / Miscellaneous
by SadFace / 02/21/2013 at 8:04am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I started at my new job. The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introduced herself with, "I know what your name is. I know what you're planning, and I've been sent to destroy you." FML
by ari / 02/18/2013 at 5:15pm / United States / Work
Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 9:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm / Botswana (North-East) / Intimacy
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 12:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by uhoh / 02/16/2013 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Money
- Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first… Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar… Today, while at a party, a cute topless woman sat next to me to flirt with the guy on the other end…