Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Offline (the 04/13/2014 at 10:25pm) | Search for a member

tygerarmy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7554
  • Number of comments : 587
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About tygerarmy : Current deployed and enjoying FML from somewhere in Middle-Earth
King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>Aurora9826</b> - 21 hours ago<b>1year15days</b> - 23 hours ago<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - yesterday at 12:53pm<b>boomboxbob</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:01pm<b>pasta_power</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:20am<b>TehAnderz</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 11:13am<b>DGMauriello</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 2:24am<b>COURT_KING</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 8:19pm<b>Paris25</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:02pm<b>mariakitty87</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 3:16pm<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:05am<b>jsgervais84</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 9:24pm<b>ijulez</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:56am<b>Evil20071</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 10:43pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:20pm<b>kinkysexter</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 5:27am<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:25am<b>TheEnforcer</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 5:09pm

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42326) - you deserved it (5881)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML

#11750
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42326) - you deserved it (5881)

On 02/06/2009 at 2:54pm - intimacy - by beerpong26 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my anatomy teacher was putting together a skeleton model for class. He had misplaced the leg bone, so I thoughtfully asked, "What's the matter, lose a leg?" Unfortunately, there's nothing thoughtful about asking that question to a guy with an amputated leg. FML

#10699
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6280) - you deserved it (29176)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:56pm - misc - by Foot In Mouth (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML

#9520
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33123) - you deserved it (58032)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML

#9514
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57155) - you deserved it (20177)

On 02/05/2009 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

#8816
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45420) - you deserved it (16149)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

#8816
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45420) - you deserved it (16149)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by PlayTag (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19598) - you deserved it (33593)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

#6669
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (6811)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm - intimacy - by Zippyzoo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8850) - you deserved it (30740)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

#4288
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10375) - you deserved it (18991)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by joe - United States (California)

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38866) - you deserved it (5058)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)

Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML

#4148
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (5066)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28681) - you deserved it (9708)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (5052)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: