Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 12129
  • Number of comments : 675
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter/IG @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - 11 hours ago<b>ItsKatieScarlet</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Matt_Hazard</b> - yesterday at 12:01pm<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - yesterday at 10:09am<b>HiddenTigres</b> - yesterday at 8:16am<b>Austin2276</b> - yesterday at 12:10am<b>Target30377</b> - yesterday at 11:25pm<b>df21312</b> - yesterday at 3:30pm<b>Firetigerninja99</b> - yesterday at 3:24pm<b>mattmsk005</b> - yesterday at 2:45pm<b>ZelmaSlayer</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:30am<b>unicornpornHD</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:16am<b>tribaled</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:29am<b>JessicaLiz</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:46am<b>unicornruler</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Lustig_Junge</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 10:34pm<b>1Personation</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:43pm<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:37pm

Liked!<b>Austin2276</b> - yesterday at 6:11am<b>df21312</b> - yesterday at 9:31pm<b>unicornruler</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:07am<b>Target30377</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:28pm<b>kinelygriffy</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 8:19am<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:24am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:36am<b>fiveforfighting</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:08pm<b>JessicaLiz</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:08pm<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:00am<b>ChloeMeyers_Xo</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:50pm<b>Bbexxy</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 11:34am<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 4:40pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:54am<b>suszyy</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:06am<b>Chrissyella</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:55am

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late 4 morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. real FML


I agree, your life sucks (42979) - you deserved it (27848)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by emperor (man) - Bangladesh (Dhaka)

Today, I racaivad a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facabook app) from boyfriand of 3 yaars. Along with tha ring cummad a massaga. It raad, "Will you marry ma?" Ha was sarious. big fat FML


I agree, your life sucks (56435) - you deserved it (9301)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:56am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , I realizd my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decidd to go get itself stuck in a tree. I trid to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I looool was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumpd down and startd purring. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40784) - you deserved it (8109)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm - animals - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday , being on my boyfriend's street bike fir ten minutes gave me an orgasm!! My boyfriend of three yeres , who constantly tries so hard to get me looool to , has never given me an orgasm!! FML


I agree, your life sucks (52003) - you deserved it (6484)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

2day I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle . After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much 4 me and I couldn't control myself . I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist . FML


I agree, your life sucks (83473) - you deserved it (14239)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from there machine. I gave it money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine fir ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button fir me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9119) - you deserved it (58888)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:37pm - misc - by Tygastyle (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today , wile reading some cemistry notes I came across te term "solid water" . Completely stumpd , I askd myself , "Wat te ell is solid water?" Ten I eard ma little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4t year science major in university . He still cecks te closet 4 monsters . FML


I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (79894)

On 06/23/2009 at 10:19am - work - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bd kicks ass. mega FML


I agree, your life sucks (39616) - you deserved it (4559)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:16am - health - by usmcpain (man) - United States

today I looool was using a public bathroom when a woman backs in, pulls down her pants, and sits on mah lap. Needless to say she didn't even notice I was there until I hyperventilated. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38839) - you deserved it (3975)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by yourmom (woman) - United States (Virginia)

2day I got hypnotized at mah looool school's variety show. Apparently,hen asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (84298) - you deserved it (20473)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today , I had a pretty big erectionhile getting checked out at the airport . The security guard was scanning mah potentially "dangerous" erection 4 at least one long minute in front of mah wife , kids , an 20 people behind me . FML


I agree, your life sucks (48601) - you deserved it (11908)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, mah kitten was playing with the drawstring on mah pajama pants . He then jumpd, clinging on to mah crotch . I screamd in pain, which scard him and made him hold on tighter . My cat was literally hanging from mah vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off . FML


I agree, your life sucks (58596) - you deserved it (7471)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done wit is name on. He paid fir it. After it was done e told me it was over between us and e tougt it'd be a nice reminder of im fir me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (281890) - you deserved it (149043)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, grlfriend of 2 years an I decided to have sex fir the frst time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To looool make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. mega FML


I agree, your life sucks (83746) - you deserved it (10254)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: