Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tygerarmy

Online | Search for a member

tygerarmy

51Fucked!

tygerarmytygerarmy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 September 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13211
  • Number of comments : 694
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About tygerarmy : King of Queens
I'm a Ginger
US Army - Intel Analyst
Concert, Stand Up Comedy, Podcast Junkie
I ♣ baby seals!
I'm not naked I'm Tattooed
I ♥ Tattooed Girls
B Pos; it's my outlook on life, I can't help it, it's in my blood.
Twitter/IG @TygerArmy

tygerarmy's page activity

Visits<b>imightbeobama</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:12am<b>superminty</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 3:47am<b>lilychristopher</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 10:47pm<b>tcglover</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:04pm<b>sam882</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:35am<b>seninaa</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:46pm<b>dzhonatan</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:21am<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 6:33pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:57am<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 10:16pm<b>labracabrador</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:03pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 8:03pm<b>Jamilal16</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Alm1ghty_Push</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 12:52pm<b>Destinee_1</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:12am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:50am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 4:49pm

Fucked!<b>S13rra01257</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 4:16am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 4:39am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:04am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 1:12pm<b>bayy1432</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 7:37pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:13pm<b>psshhh</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:20am<b>Austin2276</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:11am<b>df21312</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:31pm<b>unicornruler</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:07am<b>Target30377</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:28pm<b>kinelygriffy</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 8:19am<b>ECHOSPiiKES</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 4:24am<b>YourAuntsCousin</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 12:36am<b>fiveforfighting</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:08pm<b>cookiethumper</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:00am

tygerarmy's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of tygerarmy's badges

tygerarmy's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42314) - you deserved it (8420)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63306) - you deserved it (16059)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

#4827023
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9359) - you deserved it (62054)

On 08/26/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by brokennose (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86282) - you deserved it (7486)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58477) - you deserved it (11707)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was with her. No, let me correct myself. Today, my girlfriend updated her Facebook status when I was in her. FML

#4574797
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70493) - you deserved it (10583)

On 08/16/2009 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59134) - you deserved it (10186)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59134) - you deserved it (10186)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML

#4457491
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36082) - you deserved it (2204)

On 08/11/2009 at 7:15pm - work - by FedExMan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML

#4447976
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39715) - you deserved it (17117)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Lilly_28 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML

#4274462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49693) - you deserved it (7130)

On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after 3 long hours of mowing the lawn with a rusty lawn mower, my dad finally decided to tell me that he didn't get any money out to pay me with. The reason? He didn't think girls could mow a lawn and was expecting me to give up. FML

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67233) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42582) - you deserved it (8588)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)



Caleb Taylor's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #14
  • We're back! Hooray! It's the month of May and time once again to dig around the FML postbag to see what wonders of the English language we can find. Like a sculptor making a statue out of a block of marble,…

Wednesday 20 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: